Beneath The Surface: Breath of Faith

I'm No Angel by Kylie Bisutti (Book Review)

2013-05-24T22:01:00.000-04:00

In the book titled, I'm No Angel, Kylie Bisutti shares her journey from girl with a dream to the girl who pursued that dream and gained wings. Victoria's Secret Angel wings to be more precise. Documenting her early days, desires and family life, we get a real life glimpse of one young girl's desire for worldly gain and the impact of what it cost her along the way.

Kylie was a young girl who dreamed of being a Supermodel. Before she was of legal age she was able to live that dream, before she realized that she didn't really want what she wanted anymore.
This well written, fast paced, hard to put down book takes us along by the hand close up and personal into her experiences for better and worse. From New York to Thailand, Japan and back this then teen with the support of her family took her chances and aimed for Number One.

In 2009 Kylie, along with 9 other models, was chosen from among thousands to join in a reality type television campaign to compete for a coveted spot as Victoria's Secret Runway Angel in the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show.

What I loved so much about this book was Kylie's candid writing and openness. Reading this book is like listening to a very down to earth girl. The kind that you could see yourself chatting over coffee and telling hard truths without feeling ashamed. Kylie does not hold back, or try to make herself out to be angelic. Instead she speaks to the center of idolatry of our day. The obsession with self, sex, body image and lust. She is not preachy but shares how God revealed to her over time, the flawed thinking she embraced and ultimately how she found freedom from it all. I have to say reading about the behind the scenes modeling world was disturbing and interesting! But the thread of redemption woven into this tale make for inspiring and authentic insights and moments. I loved that Kylie revealed the fact that God works in us apart from ourselves (I know that sounds weird but it's true). Kylie could not turn from pursuing her dream, because she believed it was inexplicably wrapped up in God's will for her. She was unable to hear His voice clearly at times while closing in on the prize. But in addition to the story of Kylie's modeling aspirations, we have a beautiful love story as well! Mr. Bisutti is a hero to his wife and also the unsung hero of this story (Although Kylie does sing his praises!). I so appreciated the wisdom, patience and forbearance revealed in Kylie's husband Mike's example and actions. His example of prayer and support was a powerful testimony to God's ways for me. I so relate to Kylie in pursuing her passion and not hearing God, but I so need the example of her husband in praying and persevering persistently while waiting for God's intervention, which is exactly what he did! I found this to be one of the most inspiring aspects of the book. I see God's beautiful handiwork exhibited wonderfully in this awesome testimony of real world Christian living and God's amazing power! God meets us where we are and I love the way we get to see how God transforms and matures those who are His! This is so evident in Kylie's story.

I also want to mention, Kylie doesn't even really get into the Victoria's Secret competition until Chapter 17, almost three quarters of the way through. Although it was a defining moment of epic proportions, I believe the stories leading up to the Angelic portion of her life are equally interesting and relevant. I just enjoyed this book immensely!

Great beach or vacation read. You won't be able to put it down.

From the Publisher:

In December 2011, 21-year-old Victoria’s Secret Runway Angel Kylie Bisutti stunned the fashion industry when she chose faith over fame and fortune and made the switch from supermodel to role model.

In I’m No Angel, Kylie shares her story—from her early years struggling to make it big in the cut-throat world of modeling, her “big break” winning the Victoria’s Secret Runway Angel competition, and the disillusionment and spiritual warfare that followed, to the moment she realized that she could no longer reconcile her career with her Christian beliefs, surrendered her life to God, and dedicated her life to preaching a message of modesty and inner beauty.

Along the way, Kylie talks about her personal struggles with inadequacy, low self-esteem, and her near-constant quest for approval in a world where you can never be thin enough, pretty enough, or sexy enough. She helps readers understand that true beauty lies within and that real fulfillment comes from knowing, loving, and serving Christ.

Read an Excerpt from I'm No Angel

I received this book for the purpose of review. All opinions expressed are my own.

From Where I am Standing (5 Minute Friday: View)

2013-05-24T11:33:00.000-04:00

I've been thinking a lot lately. Trying to keep things in perspective. Trying to take hold of the proper view on life, love, faith, trust. And Pixie Dust. I always have to add that part...because I'm longing for simpler days in the midst of these 7th grade challenges, that rise up like a dragon, breathing hell -fire and leaving me feeling small. And like not such a great mama. I'm just a mom who has no idea what she's doing and I am leaning hard on a mighty God because I have no. Other. Plan. I mean that seriously. Got nothing. No back up plan. No great mom history. No legacy of mamas who love God behind me. But a great God who loves me and this little family. So I look back and remember when she was small. Even then she wanted to rule the world. EVen then she wanted to be the boss. Be in control. Be pushing the stroller, not in it. Mama needs to climb into that stroller and remember who is in control of all. And I do. Lord, help me. I do. But thanks for the daily reminders. Because I guess I need them.

***********

Below is one of my favorite songs from one of my Girl's favorite Disney movies Peter Pan (Return to Neverland). It is called I'll Try by Jonatha Brooke. It is actually on my wedding favor CD. It's about 5 minutes, because she describes how the song came to be...I hope you will take a moment to listen.
It came to my memory as I wrote this morning.

Joining with Lisa Jo today!

The Toy Trilogy by Emily Jenkins (Joyful Adventures in Children's Books)

2013-05-23T00:00:00.000-04:00

Recently while visiting the library, I noticed a book standing upright on a shelf as I passed by the children's section. As a lover of books, including children's books, I picked it up and looked through it, deciding to take it home. Having just recently read the Velveteen Rabbit with my 12 year old girl one afternoon (for the umpteenth time but not in a very long while), I thought perhaps we might enjoy reading this together. I knew it would be either a hit or an "epic" miss. To my delight and both our joy, we have been reading through with tears of laughter and utter enjoyment what is called the Toy Trilogy by Emily Jenkins.

Although this story and series is for the age range of 7-10, it is one of those magical and timeless stories that can be enjoyed by everyone and will be a treasured classic to be re-read again and again.
My daughter already made me re-read certain parts that were especially amusing!

The characters are memorable and distinct in their personalities. The adventures and experiences they have are entertaining and hilarious. These three best loved toys of a young girl share many misadventures and a few messy moments along the way as they live their daily lives. Rich in laugh out loud outbursts, flashbacks to elementary days and childhood memories lessons, I just can't say enough good stuff about these books except- Just read them. Recommended, in my opinion for children of ALL ages. Mother and Daughter give them a four thumbs up, and 5 stars for on the couch read aloud time!

Black and white pencil drawings accompany these adorable toy adventures by award winning illustrator Paul O. Zelinsky.

Below are the links to each of these books through Random House Kids where you can see the books for yourself with a handy gadget like the one below! Also if you click on the gadget below it will open in a larger screen so you can take a peek!

Toys Go Out
Toy Dance Party
Toys Come Home

Coastal Rhode Island Beach Walk

2013-05-22T13:58:00.003-04:00

Hey, let's walk today!
Narragansett Beach is different every single morning-
let's go!

You just walked with me and saw what I saw on my morning beach walk this past week May 16th, Thursday between 6:15 and 7:00 AM EST.

My partner and fellow stone gathering friend, Jen.

Her hand holds the little crab in the above photo!

Happy Wednesday!

The Truth About Flowers

2013-05-21T07:39:00.000-04:00

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I'm in the habit of sharing a few words of attempted poetry here on Tuesdays. I link up over at dVerse, a place for poets of all kinds, to mingle. For love of words and lack of perfection, I just do it. The doors open at 3 PM Eastern time...I kinda like it there when I can hang out a bit and take a little break at the Pub. There are a lot of really inspiring writers sharing...
join us?

The Truth About Flowers

The flower

by neglect

withered

and died...

but no one noticed

they just walked by

busy with

their own agendas

pie in the sky

they failed to

see...

the petals

wilted

growth stilted

all sides

pressed in

the very

life

and

beauty

pressed out

stepped on

walked over

crushed

leaving faint aroma

and stain

Once full of life

now dry

lifeless

memory faded

sweep it away

under the carpet

where hearts lie betrayed

the truth about flowers

is-

flowers aren't

forever

still

always displayed

but their beauty fleeting

tenderness bleeds out

grows brittle

with time

and neglect...

one moment

flash of time

glorious,

remembered no more...

remembered

more.

Linking with dVerse for Open link night at the Pub-time for some poetic justice!

Also with Tracy for Winsome Wednesday:

On Days It Pays To Walk Away (5 Minutes for Faith)

2013-05-19T18:37:00.002-04:00

If you caught my post earlier this week, titled Surfside with the Savior, for Wordless Wednesday, you had a heads up about where my head has been this week. I also alluded to the fact on the Facebook page that I would be writing more on the topic for my gig at 5 Minutes for Faith this weekend.

So without further adieu, surf's up, my friends- I pray this message today is as refreshing to you as it is to me! Here we go!

I pulled into the beach parking lot at six in the morning.

I knew that my regular walking partner would not be there,

but another friend had mentioned joining me,

so I made sure to show up.

I sat in my car, opened the small devotional I had brought along

for just such a waiting moment and I waited...continue reading.

Comments are off here in hopes that you will join me there!

Linking with Create with Joy, The Better Mom, The Wellspring, Lowercase Letters,
Jennifer Dukes Lee

Prayers For A Woman's Soul by Julie Gillies (Book Review and More)

2013-05-18T11:22:00.000-04:00

Back in February I was blessed to win a Giveaway over at Jen's Blog (Finding Heaven and home of the Soli Deo Gloria Sisterhood). The reason I am writing this little Review right now is to share with you the reasons why you really must have this little gift yourself!

Prayers for a Woman's Soul by Julie Gillies is to me, to your prayer life- sort of like what a phone booth is to Clark Kent. I know, subtle, right? But that's what comes to mind when I think about the beautiful, powerful well written daily gems in this book.

The book is broken down into 52 weeks or readings. Ideally I imagine you could meditate for one week on the message that you read, but I like to read them daily. Starting off with a short topical message which speaks well to my own life, Julie shares tips, experiences that I can relate to, and profound truths learned in a few words of her own. She then offers up a Daily Prayer which I have found to be full of hope, and articulated clearly to build my faith and direct my heart heavenward but with a very practical plea. The prayers really bless, strengthen, encourage and reinforce the message. The sweetest part of this whole mix is the last portion called God's Word for Me. These are scriptures written in the first person and are wonderful prayers and affirmations of God's Holy Word which is living and active. I love re-reading, praying, affirming and meditating upon the scriptures choices Julie has appointed.
I think there are a number of ways you could incorporate this book into your reading, quiet times and spiritual life and all of them would be beneficial.

Here are some of the message titles: My Ability To Hear God, God's Timing For My Life, My Focus, My Comparison Issues, My Past, My Willingness To Forgive, My Distractions, My Desire To Be Noticed, My Disqualified Feelings, My Mouth, .

A couple of of my very favorite readings were found in "My Identity" and "My Walk With God.
Two quotes from these portions that I thought were worth sharing:

"The only way to protect ourselves from spiritual identity theft is to study, absorb, accept and believe what Scripture says about us and then refute the lies of the enemy with that truth.We must allow God's word, which is living and active and sharper than any two-edged sword, to completely and utterly transform us to our very core. This goes beyond equipping ourselves with mere information. I'm talking about a deeply personal knowing that only transpires when we spend regular time with the Lord, in worship, prayer and His word."

and
"It's up to us to cultivate the yearning to be women who walk in habitual fellowship with God."

I love this little book so much that for the past month or so, I have been starting my mornings with it. I also carry it in my purse, since it is the perfect size for doing so. Plus, I confess, I love the cover. It speaks spa to my soul and those of you who know me, know I love smooth stones and rocks of all sorts.

I promise this book will bless you and encourage you so much you will not want to part with it.
Instead you will want to share it by telling your best girlfriends the following words: It's available for sale on Amazon and at all fine Booksellers everywhere! Or you could just buy it for them!

You can view it HERE on Google Preview.

Visit Julie's Blog

Enjoy this clip of Julie sharing 6 Ways To Feel Closer To God via You Tube!

You've Got A Friend (5 Minute Friday-Song)

2013-05-17T08:37:00.002-04:00

Thanks to my friend, Mary who always catches me in pictures.
She loves that I am a ham!

Every once in awhile I get a song in my head, random. When I do, I just want to listen to it over and over again. For some reason last night, I sat tired and thankful, thinking back on my week and the day. I read a Blog Post which spoke to my heart, somehow...and I started thinking about the gift of good friends. Although I have had my share of all kinds, fairweather, fickle and frightening, I really began pondering the lessons, and amazing gift that God gives in the gems He lavishes us with called friends. I long to be the kind of friend to others that He is to me. But I so fall short. Yet, He is still faithful and gives me friends who truly accept me with all my quirks and shortcomings. Better even still they not only "like me" (Sally Field) they love me. So today I am dedicating this song to all of the sweet friends that God has given me.

Ain't it good to know, you've got a friend?

You can pause the beach sounds at the bottom of the page to listen to James Taylor sing You've Got a Friend.

Sharing with my Friday Friends at Lisa-Jo's today!

Also linking with Missional Woman, Christian Mommy Blogger, Mommy Only Has Two Hands and Create With Joy!

Surfside With The Savior

2013-05-15T11:34:00.002-04:00

He wakens me morning by morning,
wakens my ear to listen like one being instructed.

Isaiah 50:4b

Kylie Bisutti, Victoria's Secret and a Book Giveaway!

2013-05-14T08:14:00.001-04:00

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Today, Kylie Bisutti's new book I'm No Angel is officially released. I received an Advanced Readers Copy as well as a lovely hardcover book. BUT for my crazy schedule would have loved to review it for you BUT am still squeezing in a few chapters. Enough Buts...

I am behind in everything, no if's ands or buts about it....

So, here's what I want to do for you my lovely readers and friends.

I want to give you a chance to receive Kylie's book. Today.

I will have my review up soon and another surprise to come, but in the meantime...

I know you will love Kylie's heart and honesty as she shares her journey.

Let's stand with her as she stands for Him.

Here's how you can win a copy of this book:

1) Leave a comment of support for Kylie. Or your thoughts on Victoria's Secret, modesty and/or women's body image.
2) Tweet this giveaway (Share the link and your user name in the comments as your entry)
Two entries per person allowed.

(Contest closes Friday Midnight)

I received this book from Tyndale (Thank you Andrea!)

Carry Me (The Madness Prayer)

2013-05-14T05:50:00.000-04:00

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He tends his flock like a shepherd:

He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart; he gently leads those that have young. Isaiah 40:11

Gather me up, Scoop me into your arms...

Carry me,

legs failing,

heart heavy,

breath labored...

stumbling

and I don't care if I fall

no desire to get up again

can barely hear you call...

wondering,

can I walk this journey after all-

Lift me from the path awhile,

that I might draw strength to carry on,

find my legs again

remember my feet

walk alongside you

once more..

with confidence.

Hold me,

close to your bosom,

your heartbeat, to my ear,

is comfort.

Hold me-

tighter still,

keep me close without release,

for I fear this fate unknown

will swallow my soul

leaving a shell-

lifeless

empty

void

dwelling place of nothing,

vacant hole

where no-one ever lived

for whom the bell tolls,
nevermore

Feed me,

nurse me to wholeness,

dress these wounds

with healing

to the innermost core of my being.

So needy,

hungry and thirsty

for your

righteousness;
longing to see your goodness in the land of the living.

Lead me,

gently-

I need your gentleness-

to touch my madness,

for I am mad, indeed.

Life leaves me furious, full of madness

that could leave me

barefoot at the brink of

dangerous edges

but for grace that takes my place.

Pauses me.

Catches me.

Holds me.

Close.

Closer still.

“Madness is to think of too many things in succession too fast, or of one thing too exclusively”
Voltaire

“'But I don’t want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
'Oh, you can’t help that,' said the Cat. 'We’re all mad here. I’m mad. You’re mad.'
'How do you know I’m mad?' said Alice.
'You must be,” said the Cat. 'or you wouldn't have come here.'”
Lewis Carroll

* I pondered madness and couldn't resist including these two quotes which outright summed up well, my past few days.*

Linking with:
dVerse w/The Gang
Create With Joy w/Ramona
The Wellspring w/ Laura
Finding Heaven w/Jen
TimeWarpWife w/Darlene
My Daily Walk in His Grace w/Tracy
Imperfect Prose w/ Emily
Tell His Story w/ Jennifer
Scribing the Journey w/ Duane
Intentional Me w/Michelle

Reasons For Belief by Norman Geisler and Patty Tunnicliffe (Book Review)

2013-05-11T17:41:00.000-04:00

Chapter 1 starts out with the question, "Why are you a Christian?"

A very good place to start.

Can you answer the question on theological grounds?

If you have been a Christian for any length of time you certainly have come across some arguments that have caused you to question the validity of your belief system or caused you to want to dig deeper into the truth. Ah, but what is "truth"?

In Reasons for Belief : Easy to Understand Answers to 10 Essential Questions, Norman Geisler and Patty Tunnicliffe set out to address every argument that sets itself up against the tenets of the Christian faith in this well organized, methodical, apologetic read. With the accuracy a focused detective, forethought of a defense attorney and the critical thinking of an apologist, Geisler takes on the skeptical, philosophical and logical questions one chapter at a time.

Specific topics covered are:

*Defining truth.

*The existence of God

*Reliability of the New Testament

*All religions lead to God

*The narrowness of Christianity

*Is Jesus God?

*Validity of the Resurrection

The book is very well organized, presenting arguments and challenges then breaking down each aspect.

Critical thinking and clear logic is presented from the very first chapter. There are helpful charts and blocks throughout which support points, compare perspectives, and present additional helps, references and scripture relevance (as appropriate).

Although presented in an easy to read manner there is a lot of excellent material covered. I allowed my 12 year old daughter to read it as part of her Home School reading this year. She did read it through and especially enjoyed the logical way the information was presented. I think it is makes for the kind of book that you can pick up and open to a specific topic as needed for conversation or consideration. The concluding chapter ends with the appropriate challenge "How Should The Truth Impact My Life?"

A good place to end.

Or begin.

You can read an EXCERPT here at Baker Publishing.

Visit Bethany House and check out the book.

Check out Norman Geisler's WEBSITE.

I received this book from Bethany House for reviewing purposes.

The thoughts and opinions expressed are my own.

Reliant on Him (5 Minute Friday- Comfort)

2013-05-10T00:07:00.004-04:00

It's not that I have all the answers.
I really wish I did. I mean I want the answers.
Want to get it right. All the time.
Keep messing up.

I wonder if this life is just one circular lesson.
Bringing me round again, to the reality.
The real.
That none of it matters but the simplest.

Those basic things taken for granted.
Food on the table.
Roof overhead.
A husband with an easy laugh and smile in the face of adversity.
A daughter who is smart enough to keep me leaning hard on God.

All of these circumstances that leave me crying out, desperate, feeling incapable.

Reliant on Him.

Is this what almost half a century of living brings me back to?

My comfort rests completely in His faithfulness.
On His grace.

Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed,
for his compassions never fail.
They are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.
I say to myself, “The Lord is my portion;
therefore I will wait for him.”
Lamentations 3:22-24

This verse keeps coming back to me lately and it is the verse that came to mind when I thought of the word "Comfort", as Lisa-Jo shared tonight.

This is my go to verse these past few weeks...and I realize now, my comfort and portion is His faithfulness. Thank you for allowing me to ponder this tonight Lisa-Jo! It all connected.
I know it's not very "Mother's Day" but ya gotta go with the flow...

Rockin' Mama (Nothing is Too Hard For Him)

2013-05-09T09:52:00.001-04:00

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened,
and I will give you rest.
Matthew 11:28

It is early morning. Quietness. Peace. Stillness but for the gentle, rhythmic rocking of the chair which has been made to do just that. And perfectly it does that which it has been purposed to do. Faithfully. The chair has weathered much in the past 11 years or so since it has come to be part of this family's history. It was a gift. Ordered and delivered with impeccable timing just about two months before my daughter was born. Given by a very thoughtful Great Uncle, who although titled uncle since childhood, is in reality a cousin. A season of my life which can only be remembered as an abundantly lavish time of God's amazing grace bestowed upon me. You see at this time I was a single Mom. Worse still I was a Christian, unwed, mom -to -be... about to spend the next two years as such. These two years were marked by deep intimacy with my Lord and Savior as He truly made himself my everything and showed me is complete ability to provide, restore, and bless me after being knocked off my feet as I walked along my narrow Christian path. He widened the path I was on and showed me His sufficiency and desire to love to the uttermost those who are His own. One of the ways I witnessed this provision was the Rocker I received as a generous baby shower gift from my "Uncle Cliff" from California. He made all the arrangements and I got to shop for the one I wanted and pick it out with much anticipation. After all this would be the chair I nursed my baby girl and rock her, I imagined gently to sleep. Little did I know that chair would experience this and much more as it solidified it's place and purpose in our lives.

The rocker alone is the last surviving piece of baby furniture from my little girl's infancy. It remains steadfast and true. A reminder of grace, provision and the loving hand of my faithful & true Savior.

"Ah, Sovereign Lord, you have made the heavens and the earth by your great power and outstretched arm. Nothing is too hard for you."

(Jeremiah 32:17)

These words from Jeremiah were emphasized daily in my life at this time. The Lord continually showed me that He desired my allegiance, attention, confidence and faith. He was weaning me from my worldly trust and focus to utter dependence on Him. Every decision of faith brought forth a provisional blessing. It wasn't expected or anticipated yet received freely in amazement and joy! The Rocker also received me daily. We whiled away the hours together. There was the nursing schedule, the middle of the night feedings and the colicky night meetings. There were late night rendezvous and mornings when I woke up realizing I was still in the arms of the Rocker as my girl slept soundly head resting over my shoulder.

The Rocker became a sacred place in those early days of my mom-hood. As I comforted my crying baby girl and pleaded to God for help, sometimes silently, sometimes out loud, most times desperate. Always heard.

Nothing is too hard for Him.

The Rocker has journeyed to new places and from room to room as our family has changed over time. It has held each of us now for stories, family reading times, before bed chats and prayers. In the elementary years the Rocker held one lone parent (we would tag team) for those "I had a bad dream" and "scary monster" nights. One eye peaked back from the bed seeking that assurance of Mom or Dad's presence. And one of us would stay rocking gently into the night peaking back through heavy eyes willingly offering up our sleep to give that assurance to our precious girl.

Today this same chair is outside on our back patio. It is a bit worn. My mom reminds me I should replace the cushions. Stuffing is coming out at the top. But here, still I come...rocking gently back and forth in the early mornings, Bible and journal in my lap contemplating all God has taught me, seeking Him and praising the wonders of His love. This gift has become to me a Sacred Rocker. A welcome place to ponder the past, meditate on Truth, receive grace anew daily and anticipate the joy to come tomorrow.

Dear Lord, you are a faithful companion. You are mysterious, wonderful and powerful. I am in awe of you and grateful that you are mindful of me. I praise you, Sovereign God, whom nothing is to hard for. You have guided me along this journey into parenthood and marriage. Into places I feared, you have brought blessing and grace in abundance. I thank you that You have become my excellent inheritance, and brought me to a good place. Not because I deserved it, no. Because you are a gracious, merciful and loving God. I pray all who read these words will come to know you and see for themselves your gracious, faithful, compassionate nature fully. In Jesus name. Amen.

Nothing is too hard for Him.

"As a mother comforts her child, so I will comfort you... "

(Isaiah 66:13)

Originally posted August 5, 2011 as The Sacred Rocker

Linking with:
Home Educator Mom
Create With Joy
Missional Women
Scribing the Journey
Christian Mommy Blogger

The Rescue

2013-05-07T19:58:00.000-04:00

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Pacing the borders

confined

boundary lines defined

by smells

he knows well

There is safety in familiarity

he inhales deep

smells freedom

longs to travel roads less traveled

breathe in the open air

yearns in solitude

for boundless path

and wild pack

dreams of wings...

or maybe

just to be unshackled

yet,

there is security

in chains

he lays

stretches long

on soft grass

slips away

contented

dreams

of wooded places

wandering...

nose down

an endless journey.

Linking with dVerse for Open Link Night at the Pub!

Focus

2013-05-07T07:36:00.002-04:00

“Determine what specific goal you want to achieve. Then dedicate yourself to its attainment with unswerving singleness of purpose, the trenchant zeal of a crusader.”

Paul J. Meyer

But if serving the LORD seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the LORD."

Joshua 24:15

Set your affection on things above, not on things on the earth.

Colossians 3:2

The Tooth Fairy Trumps the Dentist (Monday's Victory)

2013-05-06T11:37:00.000-04:00

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I have to share this little blessing (are any of them really little?) and felt like taking a silly slant for the title BUT am grateful to God's assistance in this recent tooth tale. We were instructed by the Orthodontist that three of my daughter's teeth would have to be removed due to crowding and some other concerns in her oral development, before she could get braces. My Girl, is sadly one of those kiddos who is highly phobic of needles, doctors etc. and the thought of tooth extractions was stressful on a good day. Adding to the stress was the reality that our Health Coverage would not cover for the extractions. We began planning the appointments, and shortly after the appointment with her Ortho two of the teeth fell out on their own! The last tooth, our Doctor stated, would not fall out soon enough and so we went ahead and scheduled the extraction after a lengthy consultation with the Oral Surgeon for the end of May. The estimated out of pocket cost would be @500 dollars. When my daughter saw the bill she said, rip it up, my tooth is gonna come out! Sure enough, Sunday as I sizzled some meat for steak sandwiches she came tearing into the kitchen with that tooth in hand wearing a satisfied smile. I cancelled the appointment this morning. Sorry Doc, the Tooth Fairy wins on this one!

It seems small but God knows our concerns and needs, yes?
And those of our sweet babies. Even if they are not babies anymore!

And YES! Glory! I did ask God to let those teeth come out instead of having them pulled but did also follow the Doctor's advice to plan otherwise as not to be negligent. In my prayer journal I can now record His answer and timing!

So my biggest and God knows most glorious blessing:
#446 that three teeth came out #447 oral surgery was not needed
#448 grace found a way in perfect timing #449 He cares about every detail
# 450 He cares about sparrows and hairs on our head, and also molars, cuspids, bicuspids, and incisors.

Commit to the LORD whatever you do, and he will establish your plans.
Proverbs 16:3

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. Matthew 6:34

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. Philippians 4:6

Imperfect Prose on Thursday w/Emily
My Daily Walk In His Grace
A Wise Woman Builds Her Home

The Blind Side of Pride

2013-05-05T17:31:00.003-04:00

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A number of months ago, I put out a post on Facebook for topic requests you'd like me to write about. A sweet blogging friend, named Jodi commented back to me: "Pride".

Ironically, I immediately suffered Writer's Block. I say ironic because to my shame, it is not like I didn't think I could write about this subject. As a matter of fact, my rambling words here at this blog often reveal (I hope) my very real battle with such yuck in my life. Not because I want to shame myself, or my Lord, but just because I am in a process and haven't arrived to that place of mastery where my words always reveal grace. Though this is my heart's desire and His will for me (and you). I don't know how to be anyone else but me, as I am, in this moment. Yuck shows up and is revealed in me on this journey and sometimes, I confess, I still cling to the filth of it.

I started the post about pride repeatedly. But it just would not come. I'd rewrite and ponder, and listen for clear leading. I thought of so many incidences in my life where God revealed this particular sin still stubbornly rooted in my flesh. I could see it in some of my favorite Bible characters as God showed me.

But, I still could not find the right words to share adequately... that felt real and right.

Is it possible I was even prideful in my writing about pride?

Ack!

You see Pride isn't in your face, although often we think it is.

Not so with Christians. Christians understand Pride is a biblical calling out on the carpet. It's opposite of God's will revealed in Christ Jesus; it mocks His beauty and humility and most Believers know this on some level. Pride is subtle. It sneaks in and creeps into your soul like toxic gas into your lungs. It rises up from within triggered by memories of offenses, grievances, and unlovely thoughts.

My friend, Pride is not something that announces it's arrival, but I assure you if it lingers in you, it will appear sooner or later.

There I was, pondering one particular person's perceived shortcomings.

I am already short of the grace I need in doing this one thing. Judgment and criticism walk hand and hand and they pat you on the back, if you give them half a chance, walk you straight to the doors of hell and will leave you there just shy of entering. But for His grace.

I know He gives me words and it's a gift but I am walking with the enemy as I dwell on things He clearly instructs not to dwell upon. I am going down a road and wouldn't it just figure I happen to pop on Facebook. I'd like to say I wrote these particular words without thinking, but I love words too much and wield them for good...or evil. Because when I take my words and fail to submit them to my Lord, I became as demonic as Peter in the Garden. I hurt my Lord, and others.

Back to this recent wielding of words...

I unleashed a paragraph. Onto Facebook. In one. Moment. Of. Weakness. And. Unkindness.

I am not making an excuse.

To my shame,

I used my words for evil and not good.

I knew I needed to repent.

I knew better than this, yet I still pressed that button.

It was not kind.

It was wrong.

I knew it.

Facebook showed that the status was seen 124 people. The average number reported is usually

less than half of that for my Facebook Page. Often even less than that!

How does that happen?

He is the prince of the power of the air (Ephesians 2:2), and lies in wait for my heart to be unguarded.

For Pride to reign in a moment.

Because I let pride blind me in a moment to the King of Glory. I served the enemy of the Most High God.

In a moment.

Also within a moment a follower (?) commented and told me that my comment wasn't very nice.
Busted.

I replied that, she was correct. I thanked her for telling me so.

So much for anonymity.

She called me out and I knew I deserved it.

I saw that a few people immediately "un-followed" my page.

Bad choices have consequences.

I deleted the post and I put a new status update for those who may have saw the post and ignored it, which is what I usually do with the unsavory comments that come through my news-feeds. I apologized and accepted responsibility for my poor judgement.

I want my words to be used for good.

I want to get it right.

All the time.

I don't.

But you know what?

He came so that I could live this side of eternity not driven by guilt, fear or pride.

He came so I, by grace through faith, could become like Him.

Be transformed by this life altering, eternal transaction that births holiness in this unholy place called my heart.

Process. Progress. Like Him.

Perfect.

Holy.

Sinless.

It is not possible without a Living Savior.

It is not possible without a Miraculous God.

It is only possible by the Resurrected Christ.

The one who came for sinners, like me.

And you.

Because I belong to Him, I can know that although I messed up again, He has forgiven me.
And if you caught those words I wrote for it, I ask for your forgiveness.

Would you take a moment and pray for me? Would you pray that my words would be wholly submitted to Him before they ever appear "in the air"? Would you consider praying for my fellow bloggers, and yourself the same? We all need this prayer, that our words would be Life Giving.

Thank you, for grace, Friends.

Thank you for standing with me in my yuck and not being ashamed to call me, friend.

Thank you for caring enough to speak the truth and for reminding me that my words do matter. We never really are anonymous.

*This post is dedicated to Jodi Packe. She challenged me and waited patiently for me to write about this topic. I am not sure this is what I would have chosen, but I pray it blesses someone. Somewhere. Thank you Jodi, for your patience and for all those likes and words of encouragement. Thank you Pamela Steiner, for affirming I should publish it. When I thought I might keep it in the drafts.

Linking With:

Finding Heaven
Missional Women
Heart Reflected
Spiritual Sundays w/Charlotte
Hear It, Use It w/ Michelle DeRusha

Goals Revisited (RJD April)

2013-05-04T17:36:00.001-04:00

I have been de-cluttering the past couple of weeks. I realize it may take a very. Long. Time. I do not like to let go, apparently. But I am learning...perhaps that is why my word of the year is Release.

I am enjoying pouring over my daughters first scribbles and finger paints as we both laugh together and decide what to keep and let go. And frame. I also stumbled across some of my essays and papers from college, from both late teen years to later adult years when I resumed education in hopes of finishing my degree.

I am sharing this list I wrote in 1985. I had just turned 20 that Summer.

This was an early September school assignment in my writing class and surely the first time I had ever made a list of goals, even considered goals for myself. I have saved it all these years. It is rather revealing, after all. I see so many facets and seedlings of who I would become...still am becoming.

Pieces of me are so evident in that first list.

Aspirations & Goals (1985)

1. To learn all I can (in my lifetime) about the world through books, people and travelling.

2. To find peace inside myself and inner happiness for without these one can neither be truly happy or successful, and to be able to reach inside and use these when I need them most.

3. To build and maintain a perfect, muscular, well defined body and nutritionally sound diet for a healthy long life.

4. To instruct others on fitness, nutrition and the importance of physical fitness and the practice of good, healthy eating habits.

5. To travel to some exotic land and escape for a nice long, vacation at least once in my life, while I'm young enough to enjoy it.

6. To become physically and intellectually the best I can be and inspire others to do so.
To get people excited about life and living.

7. To be a Miss Olympia Contestant. ha, ha.

8. To have a career I enjoy and that is challenging.

9. To write books and or articles of great enough importance that they will surpass my lifetime. Life commentary.

*********************

There you have my list of 9 Aspirations and Goals written over twenty years ago.

You are looking for number TEN, right?

Well that is just like me. I filled the page. Apparently Nine was what I had at this time.
This would drive my hubby crazy. Like the way I will put the radio volume in the car on an odd number. He has to have it on an even number. I mean really, who writes out their Top Nine Goals.

Where's Number 10?

I think that is a mystery only God knows.

Perhaps, I will write an updated list...
Numbered 10-21.

Some of these goals have been tossed, some revised.
Some have yet to be.
Some may never be.

I might do a follow up post on these 9 and where I am now with each of them and how I feel about them in light of eternity.

God changes EVERYTHING, Friends, Yes?

This is my Random Journal Day Post - would you like to join in and share a look into one of your journals from the past or present?

Join US!

You Can't Hide Yer Lyin' Eyes (Or Hair Color): Tales of Tween Years Gone Awry

2013-05-03T17:51:00.002-04:00

I prayed for my baby girl to have curls. I don't know why I did, but I did. You know the prayers you pray that are a little out there and then God decides to remind you how He really is listening... to everything? Check. She had a head of hair from birth. Actually a long tail at the nape of her neck. Her curls were and are the kind that inspire poems. My hub and I used to recite one in particular that you've probably heard: "There once was a girl who had a curl right in the middle of her forehead-

when she was good she was very, very good, but when she was bad she was horrid."

Hmm...fast forward 12 years.

I am not a slave to fashion by a long shot. I rarely wear make- up. OK, I confess. I never wear makeup. She wanted to wear makeup in elementary school. I do not fuss to get ready to go anywhere. I'm a shower, dress and go, girl. She takes 45 minutes to get in her pajamas. Longer to dress for the day. Longer still to pick and find shoes.

She went through years of wanting straight hair. Her much more patient Dad, painstakingly straightened that head of hair. It was beautiful still, this thick, glorious mane.

Currently she is fine with her hair, curls and all.

But...

not the color.

The perfectly fine, beautiful shade of brown, that I love.

God's perfect choice for her.

I barely go to the hair dresser either.

I cover the grey periodically.

How is this my child?

1st grade: "Mom, I want to color my hair green."

No.

5th grade: "Mom I want to dye my hair pink."

No. No.

7th grade: "Mom, I want to bleach my hair blonde."

No. No. No.

***********

We are heading out of the house to her Chorus program. Yesterday.

"Mom, can we stop at the store so I can get some gum?"

Sure.

"Can I go in by myself while you are in the Post Office?

"No, I will let you go in by yourself after the Post Office since it's on the way, if you want to run in then and I will wait in the car."

************

We arrive at the local Drugstore "Let me give you some money, Honey. I want you to get a drink for Chorus, too."

"I brought my own money."

"Oh, are you sure you have enough?"

"I have enough."

I am sitting in the car feeling, quite good about this progress. She carries a Navy Blue Bag with white stars over her shoulder and I sit in the car thinking that my girl is doing so well. Here she is going into the store on her own for a pack of gum. Something she hardly does. She rarely, no, never, carries a bag but thought she should TODAY to to carry her gum, money, chorus folder etc. I am suspicious of nothing and enjoying a blissful mom moment that will go up in a puff of delusional smoke soon.

***************

We arrive home from Chorus, my sweet Tween wants to shower. Sure, no problem. It's early but I like this pro-active approach she's sporting. She had a shower yesterday morning but she sometimes pushes the shower frequency limit so this is another sign of progress, right? She's getting it, I think to myself. Perfect. Personal Hygiene victory!

Into the bathroom she goes.

Enter the theme from Gilligan's Island here...

It was like a three hour tour. I mean shower.

Repeatedly we knock on the door and inquire. Dinner is ready.

She finally comes out and slips quickly down the hall to her bedroom.

****************

"Mom, can you come here?"

I stand outside her door, "Yes?"

"Mom, promise you won't be mad."

"What are you talking about? Open the door."

To which she replies, "Promise me, you won't be mad."

"Open the door, now." I say in an increasingly impatient tone.

*****************

I am looking at my daughter, who has wet hair and and wears on her face the look of fear intermingled with victory.

Her hair is now a shade of orangey, blonde.

I decide to let her live.

At least long enough to hear her defense and the details of this latest scheme.

****************

There are only two questions going through my head.

What would the amazing Recovering Church Lady do in this situation?

What would my hero in motherhood and life Sharon Linder do if this was one of her girls?

What would you do if it was your Tween?

(Mean or derogatory comments will be deleted!)

On Brave -Because I'm Not (5 Minute Friday)

2013-05-03T00:31:00.000-04:00

Brave.

I think of myself and know the truth. God knows I'm not brave.

When I hear the word brave, I think of my husband. Spot on.It takes courage to take on a family. To step out in faith and say the words, marry me. And trust me I was fearful, because I saw so much ugliness in marriage as a child that I dared not hope. Pressed down that little girl dream that is dormant within every little girl's heart. Yes, I said every little girl. We all long for the kind of faithfulness that comes from above in a man. And that is the loftiest of all dreams...dangerous, risky. But this precious, man. Long time friend has shown me his courage, again and again. In the way he gets up and goes to that job. Loves this sinner graciously. Models gentleness to this fresh chick and loves me just the way I am. Even likes me in my yuck, but sees past it. Sees something in me beautiful that I can't see. Models, patience and true bravery while living amongst the land of drama. We two girls have our moments, and he so sweetly holds us together in love that reflects a love I feel unworthy of but oh, so grateful for. How this man loves us. And in this love I see him brave. And in this love I see Him.

I'm rambling, exhausted, but made it to my first late night FMF Party! Yippee!

See you all in the morning.

That was really fun. And awkward.

Join in by clicking below!

Random Journal Day Link Up (May 2013)

2013-05-02T19:56:00.000-04:00

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Welcome to RJD Day for May!

The winner of last month's ONE YEAR Celebration of Random Journal Day Giveaway drawing was DENISE! Congratulations Denise. Please e-mail me your home address so I can mail you a special journal to use for counting your blessings, writing prayers, or whatever your writing heart desires!

1. Dig out one of your old journals, or a recent journal. Choose an entry, or a portion of an entry that you feel bold enough or at least comfortable to share. We prefer if you could include a picture of your journal if possible!

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2. Write up your blog post, publish and link up here. Link up the blog post you are sharing, NOT your general Blog address- so we can visit your entry. You can use the picture below or just link back -here.

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3. Kindly visit and comment on the person before you in the link up.You can visit more but we understand that everyone is busy.

Please visit at least one other Random Journal Day Link Up as that just would make it nice for all.

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We look forward to peeking in your journals-
I will be around to visit you all!

Read more about Random Journal Day and see all posts under the LINKS tab, HERE!

Please link up and join in our Random Journal Day-
please share with your journal keeping friends!

The Day That Got Away (Last Day of National Poetry Month)

2013-04-30T13:35:00.003-04:00

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The Day That Got Away

There it was,

there it went.

Where has it gone?

I wish I knew

but I suspect,

as I stifle back my yawn-

it slipped away,

my today

never to return

History,

a mystery

for which

now I yearn.

Too late, too short,

without further adieu,

I bid you sweet farewell

Be gone now, finished,

shoo!

Procrastinated plans,

interruptions in my day,

set me on a treadmill

of multiple delays.

So now I see the clock has ticked it's final tock,

I will hope my tomorrow

wears a more productive frock.

For now I say, Ta-Ta

and I wave my hand goodbye

sweet dreams today,

Tomorrow's my ally.

Originally posted February 3, 2012 on the original day that got away, with a special song added!

Linking with dVerse.
and Tracy, Amy, Ramona and MORE!!

Mass Hope Home-School Convention Highlights and Multitudes 2013

2013-04-29T01:15:00.000-04:00

Nothing holds back the sista-hood! We are His girls!

I had planned on attending the Mass Hope Home-School conference ahead of time. I bought the tickets and anticipated going, but other than knowing it would be my first BIG Home - School conference I did nothing to prepare. These days are lived teetering at the edge of a cliff. I walk along this current path, veering straight into joy on some days and other days I wonder if jumping off the edge is a valid option. I listened to those who gave me tips and warned me in advance not to be overwhelmed by the volume of vendors. I anticipated blessings because I was repeatedly told I would be blessed and encouraged if I attended. I asked some sweet sisters to be sure and pray for me at the last minute when I had a rough couple of days. I prayed, and waited like a second string player sitting on the bench awaiting for a turn to play, not really quite sure what to expect once actually in the game.

The day arrived and I was off to the DCU Center in Worcester Massachusetts with my dear friend Natasha, her son and my daughter. We arrived at the hotel, and descended upon that conference center Friday later than planned, yet perfectly on time. You know it's all grace, friends.

How shall I describe it to you?
Let me see, wall to wall books, books and more books. Needless to say, I was in my very, very happy place. I spent hours perusing the curriculum at the various vendors. I quizzed the reps and volunteers with a myriad of questions, sometimes returning after another question came to my mind. Yeah, I am that person.

I was impressed with a number of the curriculum choices and not overwhelmed. I knew I wanted to check out a few specific vendors based on my own prior experience and exploring. These were Sonlight and My Fathers World. I had gone to the local Home School conference a month earlier and knew I wanted to check into Classical Conversations, based on a lengthy conversation with a couple of moms who communicated their satisfaction with the program and patiently answered my multitudes of questions. Although I knew there would be good speakers and topics, a table full of books is tough competition, especially once they are within my reach.

A few notables were A Beka, which I had dismissed somewhat but since my daughter seems to like it - I may be considering implementing it. What appealed to my daughter I think was that it looked like enough work to her. She is quite traditional in her expectation of Home- School and feels secure with specific assignments and structure which A Beka clearly models. I did like the cohesiveness, yet I am not sure if it might be too rigid? I stumbled upon a Language Arts curriculum that completely intrigued me, called Total Language Plus. It utilizes classic literature with a focus on critical thinking and communication skills. Both my daughter and I were very interested in this program and probably will try it (at the least) regardless of what else we choose.

I checked out a couple of other sets of complete/semi-complete curriculum: BJU Press, Freedom Project Education, Tapestry of Grace. Each of those I mention had points or elements I really appreciated.

As I searched for the ever elusive perfect curriculum, God had graciously appointed a meeting to offer guidance, wisdom and perspective. I passed by the Summit Group Testing Preparation booth without much interest but somehow the lovely lady there caught my eye and before I knew it we were discussing everything from her homeschooling empty nest to my own one chick nest with all of it's challenges! The company she represents does both online tutoring as well as in home and in school test preparation for SAT, PSAT, SSAT, ACT tests and more. Linda, as I would come to know her was a wealth of information, grace and truth. Plus she gave me chocolate. Now you know that was a truly divine appointment!

I attended the keynote speaker Bill Jack's excellent presentation Saturday morning and loved it. Bill leads Worldview Academy a kind of leadership camp for youth. His take on "Whatever" and our worldview was eye opening and inspiring. I will never be able to watch Gilligan's Island without thinking of the 7 Deadly Sins. Thanks for that, Mr. Jack! Not that I um, er...watch that show. Ahem.
Also singing Amazing Grace to the tune of the sit com's theme song with an amazing correlating lesson was powerful. You had to be there. Or you can get that CD on the Mass Hope web site at some point if you really want to know.

I also attended Christopher Perrin's talk on Revolutionary Logic. This was a little rough since it was the last session on Saturday afternoon but I have to admit once he started speaking Latin he had my attention. Fortunately he did not do the whole talk in that language but his comfortable use of it and his wit sealed the deal. He had me at Logos...

There were many more workshops but as I said, I was quite the book table tramp.
I had two of the complimentary bags from Sonlight. Yup, I am that person, too. Thanks, guys!

I treated myself to the book The Well Trained Mind by Susan Wise Bauer - who I actually am getting to be quite enamored with...she is pretty amazing to me. I am becoming quite a fan.

#436. Safe travel with a beautiful friend and fellowship on the road!
#437. smiling faces on two beautiful children, who are growing up so fast
#438. A hubby who works hard, and deserves a little bit of recliner time, occasionally
#439. Three beautiful gifts of friendship: Natasha, Lauree and Tina. Thank you, Lord for each precious one.
#440. Prayer and workout time in the morning.
#441. free coffee
#442. Meeting Home School parents in the Jacuzzi and talking about Home- Schooling...fellowship and shared wisdom, right there in the foamy, bubbly water!
#443. Singing How Great Thou Art Saturday Morning
#444. Coming home to a Sunday Morning Sermon which was faithfully served up by my very excellent Pastor
#445. Waking up to a crock pot meal made by hubs to come home from church to.

Question for You Home Schooling Friends:

What are your Home- Schooling Preferences?
Do you prefer mixing and matching your own or a complete (more or less) curriculum?
Let me know what you think.
Don't be shy...please pipe up!

Achoo! (on Monday)

2013-04-22T10:05:00.000-04:00

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Here comes Spring...NOT! You think it's here then WHAM- frost alert!

I am tapping away here between coughs, sniffles and sneezes- I think you're safe where you are.

I must say it's hard to miss all of the beauty that is popping out and fighting hard to make it;'s appearance Forsythia, Magnolia, Daffodils, Tulips are blooming and buds are battling for their place in the sun, everywhere. But old Jack Frost is fighting for his own right to party. May the sunshine win. Even I have had enough of cold for one season.

I made it through church and Sunday School yesterday but then bedded down for the day with a steady dose of CNN and Disney's Tangled between dozing.

Well here is my round - up for Monday.

Share a link, or comment and I will pop by to visit between coughs and sniffles!

Morning walk and a whole lot of yellow visiting, Narragansett!

This week I wrote a lot. I mean per usual but I wrote in a very unlikely place. Not that I won't write anywhere. I keep a journal in my bag at all times. However this time I camped out in the Food Court at the Mall Friday, while my girl and her friend romped around for 5 hours. I wrote to my hearts' content and finished a short book on my Kindle about Self-Publishing.
Hoping to share more on the experience with you all later.
So my big tip for writers this week: Get out of your comfy zone and write in an unlikely place.
Go.

I picked up this cute little book as a gift for my hubby but I perused the pages myself and it is a must read for locals as well as anyone who wants to come and visit our little state! Recipes, and insider looks at the back-stories of many great dining places and influences surrounding Rhode Island Cuisine. I give it a YUMS Up.

Over at 5 Minutes for Faith this month there is a special series happening and I wrote about my own mom and my relationship there. Pop on over when you have a chance to read it as well as the many other encouraging posts through May. Also if you think God might want you to share at 5 Minutes for Faith, check with Barbie to see if there is a current opening.

Beautiful Dogwood in bloom - I actually turned the car around and grabbed this beauty,because life is short and why not capture all the beauty you can in a day...or a moment!

The WINNER of the signed copy of Transformed By Tough Times is:
Pamela Manners! That is, as always random drawing of folded papers in bag picked by husband or daughter. Congrats, Pam!

Counting to 1000 #431. His faithfulness to meet me as I prepare for Sunday School lessons #432. flowers and friends, both uniquely beautiful #433. How He loves me... and how knowing this gives me everything I need to hang on in difficult times and rejoice in good. #434. it's all from Him.

#435. trusting he will bring comfort and healing to those who have been impacted throughout the tragedies this week.