6.07.2013

Sunflower Journal (RJD Link- June 2013)



Well it is another journal from the stack for Random Journal Day. I really adore the artwork on this sweet, spiral bound keeper of secrets and include the back cover at the bottom of the post. 
I decided to share a few blurbs from this journal instead of a straight out share, because quite honestly, this journal was written at a difficult turn in my journey. My life was in circular journey due to a number of factors not unrelated to one another. I was involved in a soon to end, long term, unhealthy relationship, dealing with what was diagnosed as Post Traumatic Stress and Depression due to my own history of Childhood Sexual Abuse and Trauma. My journey would pick up momentum and leave me eventually exhausted and empty enough to look up and cry out for answers. That would take about two more years...but God is not in a hurry. In retrospect, everything is so much clearer. But the fact is, pain brings to the surface those things we would rather bury, hide or forget. Our God is about revelation, enlightenment and clarity. He brings all to the light so that we can truly be free.


Here are some snippets from my journey at this time which came from a 6 day retreat in Weston, Massachusetts at the Campion Renewal Center while I participated in a Progoff Intensive Journal Workshop. I attended a number of these over a period of time. 


July 17
I am thinking about going to Weston, Massachusetts for 6 Days for the Ira Progoff Intensive Journal Writing Method Workshop, like I took in March, but this will be all inclusive. Something is telling me I should go, every day it gets closer a part of me is strongly drawn...

****

July 21
I arrived about Weston at around 3 PM. I checked out some shops and had a nice meal at a place called 
J.C. Hillary's which was a Victorian style very quaint pub.  Bought a new special pen for the 6-day workshop and am psyched...each room has 1 bed, dresser, desk, sink, chair and window. Perfect, right? Yet, when I first arrived, I walked up and down the halls thinking I liked every other room better than my own. Then I remembered what I've been reading about gratitude and I changed my thoughts to thankfulness. 

...there are no distractions here and isn't that what I wanted?

****

July 22
As much as I love my little apartment, I love being away from it. I don't miss the clutter and distractions. I have no T.V. or radio. It's amazing how easy it is to turn something on and cheat ourselves out of peace...I hear the birds now-and my pen scratching across the paper...

****
Sometimes I think I think I could leave my life behind and never look back- It's as though I'm being called but not really. I mean, after all-me?
Called to what?
Am I just running away?
So many questions. What am I supposed to be doing with my life?

****

July 23
I had intended to journal more, but did not.
Instead I read. I love that I read. Really read...I never do that anymore.
Then I slept. Really slept.

****

July 24
Things that I want I'd like to do when I return home from my retreat:
Actively involve myself in a spiritual relationship with Jesus and God. 

****

July 25
I know I am truly His, but why am I such a reluctant child?

God may very well have more use for me in the real world than I care to realize. Because in some ways I think it is I, not God who would like to totally take myself out of the "real world" to a place like this (Campion Center).

*********

As I read this tonight and considered how amazing God is, I was reminded of how very important we must be careful not to judge the faith and work of God in the life of others. One never knows, after all, what God is doing Beneath the Surface. And He is Mighty to Save. Amen? 

 And He said, “How shall we picture the kingdom of God, or by what parable shall we present it? “It is like a mustard seed, which, when sown upon the soil, though it is smaller than all the seeds that are upon the soil,yet when it is sown, it grows up and becomes larger than all the garden plants and forms large branches; so that THE BIRDS OF THE AIR can NEST UNDER ITS SHADE.”
Mark 4:30-32

Journal back cover.



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8 comments:

  1. I'm reading Romans right now and yesterday was Romans 12...about being understanding of those weaker in faith. My pastor shared with me over lunch what she is reading in John...same message jumping out at her. Apparently there is a great need for God's people to know this right now.

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  2. Makes me want to take such a journey to a retreat like that. No distractions...just me and the Lord, a pen and a paper...start writing whatever He brings to my heart and mind. Hmmmm....good thoughts...just when I was thinking that I may stop writing because I'm running out of stuff to say. I NEED such a retreat. I NEED to let God say what HE wants to say. Thanks for this tonight.

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  3. You know what Dawn? As simple and brief as this post was, it has me here with tears brimming for that hungry You, on the brink of something wonderful. It almost sounds like the early moments of a great love affair and it was!

    Your observation about not judging what we see on the surface is so true, we are all surrounded with hungry people who may be asking God the same questions deep inside.
    I love you Dawn.

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  4. Amen--great is His faithfulness! Love this post!

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  5. God uses what we think are 'bad' things, to allow us to grow. He also permits good to come out of the circumstances. Some times we have to pray along those lines when we hear of someone going through tough times.

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  6. reminds me a bit of some time i spent in a monastery in pittsburgh...was def a nice break away....but real life has its merits...smiles...we need those retreats though at times to clear the way for things to happen...

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  7. I don't miss the clutter and distractions. I have no T.V. or radio. It's amazing how easy it is to turn something on and cheat ourselves out of peace...I hear the birds now-and my pen scratching across the paper...

    Love This!

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walk along the shore with me and leave your footprints in the sand-
I'm listening, friend...in November I will not be replying so often, but instead slip quietly over to your place for a visit. ;)