Well it is another journal from the stack for Random Journal Day. I really adore the artwork on this sweet, spiral bound keeper of secrets and include the back cover at the bottom of the post.
I decided to share a few blurbs from this journal instead of a straight out share, because quite honestly, this journal was written at a difficult turn in my journey. My life was in circular journey due to a number of factors not unrelated to one another. I was involved in a soon to end, long term, unhealthy relationship, dealing with what was diagnosed as Post Traumatic Stress and Depression due to my own history of Childhood Sexual Abuse and Trauma. My journey would pick up momentum and leave me eventually exhausted and empty enough to look up and cry out for answers. That would take about two more years...but God is not in a hurry. In retrospect, everything is so much clearer. But the fact is, pain brings to the surface those things we would rather bury, hide or forget. Our God is about revelation, enlightenment and clarity. He brings all to the light so that we can truly be free.
Here are some snippets from my journey at this time which came from a 6 day retreat in Weston, Massachusetts at the Campion Renewal Center while I participated in a Progoff Intensive Journal Workshop. I attended a number of these over a period of time.
I am thinking about going to Weston, Massachusetts for 6 Days for the Ira Progoff Intensive Journal Writing Method Workshop, like I took in March, but this will be all inclusive. Something is telling me I should go, every day it gets closer a part of me is strongly drawn...
I arrived about Weston at around 3 PM. I checked out some shops and had a nice meal at a place called
J.C. Hillary's which was a Victorian style very quaint pub. Bought a new special pen for the 6-day workshop and am psyched...each room has 1 bed, dresser, desk, sink, chair and window. Perfect, right? Yet, when I first arrived, I walked up and down the halls thinking I liked every other room better than my own. Then I remembered what I've been reading about gratitude and I changed my thoughts to thankfulness.
...there are no distractions here and isn't that what I wanted?
As much as I love my little apartment, I love being away from it. I don't miss the clutter and distractions. I have no T.V. or radio. It's amazing how easy it is to turn something on and cheat ourselves out of peace...I hear the birds now-and my pen scratching across the paper...
Sometimes I think I think I could leave my life behind and never look back- It's as though I'm being called but not really. I mean, after all-me?
Called to what?
Am I just running away?
So many questions. What am I supposed to be doing with my life?
I had intended to journal more, but did not.
Instead I read. I love that I read. Really read...I never do that anymore.
Then I slept. Really slept.
Things that I want I'd like to do when I return home from my retreat:
Actively involve myself in a spiritual relationship with Jesus and God.
I know I am truly His, but why am I such a reluctant child?
God may very well have more use for me in the real world than I care to realize. Because in some ways I think it is I, not God who would like to totally take myself out of the "real world" to a place like this (Campion Center).
As I read this tonight and considered how amazing God is, I was reminded of how very important we must be careful not to judge the faith and work of God in the life of others. One never knows, after all, what God is doing Beneath the Surface. And He is Mighty to Save. Amen?
And He said, “How shall we picture the kingdom of God, or by what parable shall we present it? “It is like a mustard seed, which, when sown upon the soil, though it is smaller than all the seeds that are upon the soil,yet when it is sown, it grows up and becomes larger than all the garden plants and forms large branches; so that THE BIRDS OF THE AIR can NEST UNDER ITS SHADE.”
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