12.19.2012

A Sleepless Night and The Ultimate Shut Up


 “In your anger do not sin” Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry,  and do not give the devil a foothold. 
Ephesians 4:26-27

It was a bad night. Everything I planned backfired. I was feeling discouraged, defeated and a tad angry to boot. When I walked into our home I wasn't planning on a confrontation with my dear husband. I'm convinced he wasn't planning on it either. Sometimes when we least expect it we find ourselves in confrontations anyway. So there we stood face to face. Whatever it was he said in response to me is unimportant now. But at the moment it may as well been a knife. I felt pierced, wounded. I shot back angry words and retreated to the bedroom; he to his chair. I decided to escape reality by turning in early.

After all it had been a bad day.

I wanted to drift off on a peaceful boat of sleep.
Of course that boat eluded me.
Instead I found myself drowning in a sea of unforgiveness.
My mind reeled and raced - I was as mad as a cornered  porcupine and as stubborn.
I'm pretty sure there's no sleep for angry, cornered porcupines either!
I tossed, I turned. I refused to let go.
It was a long night, no doubt.
Did I mention my stubbornness?
Finally after a sleepless night, my restless heart and mind began to realize the choice. I had to forgive.
Don't think I did not have a long talk with my Lord, giving every honest thought, emotion and argument to His patient, listening ear. I did.

In the end I had a choice.

I had to choose whether I would turn my back on Jesus and continue to walk in disobedience or turn back to Jesus in obedience and trust. It took one sleepless night as well as one long dialogue telling God (boldly and honestly) all of my rationalizations, justifications and excuses about why I was right and my husband wrong.

Then He gently reminded me of my Lord and asked me to consider all of these things I shared in light of His love, His sacrifice and His example.

The ultimate shut me up.

I chose to follow Jesus.
Forgiveness is not always easy.
It's a choice.

Jesus made a choice too... it cost Him everything.
It secured forgiveness for all and
the freedom to choose.

Oh, that we would walk likewise.

Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
Ephesians 5:21


A fellow blogging sister asked if I would write a post for her blog.
My own stubbornness provided meat for the post.
God was faithful to give me the words once I repented and accepted the lesson.
I hate love when that happens!
There is no hiding in His classroom.
He is faithful!


*This post is part of The 12 Days of Blog Posts, Weekends and Wednesdays in December!*


Linking with some favorite places:
Winsome Wednesday @ My Daily Walk In His Grace
Friendship Friday @ Create with Joy
  Faith Filled Friday @ Beholding Glory
Fellowship Friday @Christian Mommy Blogger
Weekend Blog Hop @ Mommy Only Has Two Hands
Weekend Wonders @ The Thriftiness Miss


8 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. You bless me with that choice my friend. I return that, in His Grace. ;)

      Delete
  2. I've "been there" in my marriage so many times, Dawn! And it really is so hard to swallow that pride and anger and surrender "the fight" to our Lord. But time after time, God has taught me His ways are always best--not mine, not my husband's but His ways. Beautiful challenge to all of us!

    ReplyDelete
  3. forgiveness is not easy, it is a choice...lots of truth in that statement...it is a great humbling, but also a healing...

    ReplyDelete
  4. forgiveness is not easy, it is a choice...lots of truth in that statement...it is a great humbling, but also a healing...

    ReplyDelete
  5. Great post, forgiving is not easy but so necessary. Hugs you!

    ReplyDelete
  6. We are all very prideful at times. It's often very hard to think of the other first.

    Thanks for the great reminder to try and do so!

    theoldadam

    ReplyDelete
  7. Its easy to justify our actions when we are angry, but sometimes we just need to simmer down a little bit. I always say things I regret in the heat of the situation. I probably would have needed a night to think and pray to come to my senses as well.

    ReplyDelete

walk along the shore with me and leave your footprints in the sand-
I'm listening, friend...in November I will not be replying so often, but instead slip quietly over to your place for a visit. ;)