5.26.2012

Midsummer Eve Journal (RDJ #9)



Then I pray to you, O Lord.
    I say, “You are my place of refuge.
    You are all I really want in life.
142:5

I remember standing in the bookstore that Summer's evening. I was feeling vulnerable. Only as a women does. Delicate, melancholic. Yes, I confess I remember it well as I perused the shelves for my next journal, pouring over each one as I do. Opening and closing, feeling, sensing. Knowing it will be my partner for the next few months; a receptacle for my heart's cries, dialogues with God and hatchery for thoughts, dreams and ideas. So for 8.95, a bargain in my eyes at the time, I made the final decision and headed out into the nights darkness, new journal in my possession. I loved the image on the front. Writing the first pages in a new journal can be the hardest, yes? I see this beautiful open, blank paged canvas and think to myself, "How can I measure up to the possibility, potential and perfection of this book? The moment I touch it with my pen, it's soiled beyond repair!" Yet, I have learned to scribble out my imperfection onto the pages of  a blank book and found the process to hold beauty, mystery, healing and grace as well as a secret meeting place with the One who has put the very desire to write and record in my heart! 



July 19, 2005
Tuesday

Dear Lord, I am sick of my sin and tired of my self. Lord, renew my Spirit with your joy, peace and love. Show me your ways. Lord, even when I think I have victory- I stumble- even when I triumph it's only for a moment.
Please keep me from fears and increase my faith according to your word that I might once more exalt your name with a vision from heaven.  Spare me empty words and godless chatter-empower me Lord, to serve You.

You alone I long to worship, you alone are worthy of my praise. 

I also lift up Katherine and her heart toward you. Lord, her heart I pray would soften. Lord, I pray for protection and that she would grow up and walk in your truth and not depart from it.

Lord, I am overwhelmed with people, places, things. .. the will and agendas of others and my own desires...Lord give me wisdom & discernment to know what to I can do...should do... and what can wait. Show me what to leave behind and what to keep. 

*I went on to pray for my husband, VBS and our finances. 
Funny the things that we remember and forget...and what we record. 
Funny how some things seem to be ongoing heart cries...




Join in and share from your own Journal for our Random Journal Day Link Up or just stop by and PEEK! 

Do you love to shop for beautiful journals or do you prefer a simple notebook/binder?

Do you worry about writing in the first pages of a new journal? 

Happy Journal Writing, Friends.








9 comments:

  1. Oh my goodness, our journal shopping is exactly the same experience! I love finding a new "friend" who will be with me for a long while, one who I would not be embarrassed to be seen with but not boring either. While teaching in the ministry school my journal was always right there along side me with my Bible, part of who I was.
    I love you Dawn.

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  2. I am the same way when shopping for a journal. My husband just shakes his head in wonder at how I can spend so much time looking at EMPTY books. LOL I do kind of agonize over starting a new journal...those first entries will be setting the tone, after all. And I confess that while I know a journal is for me, I kind of worry about how it will look to anyone else who reads it and someone, at some point will. I guess that's why I no longer keep mine and only journal about certain things.

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  3. I actually use plain spiral notebooks for my writing. I used to use journals if someone bought me one, but really I don't care what's on the outside. I like this line from your post: "found the process to hold beauty, mystery, healing and grace".

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  4. This morning, I stopped at some friends' house; they were having a rummage sale. On on table I found a pretty journal in a matching box. I latched onto it. I also found a published book, titled "Power Perfected in Weakness" its subtitle is "the journal of Christopher J. Klicka. I found a small Bible Promise Book. I felt as if I had scored a home run.

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  5. Normally, I write in a spiral notebook. I know, boring.

    For my birthday, 3 friends gave me beautiful journals. I'm using one for notes on my pastor's sermons. The second sits on my nightstand, and I record insights the Lord gives me as I read His Word. The last one is on my desk to jot down random thoughts and keep track of the books I've read this year.

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  6. I've never bought myself a journal. All the ones I have were either gifts or spiral notebooks or something I found that seemed to work. Sadly, now that I write my blog I find that I am not writing a hand-written journal much anymore. My handwriting is getting too illegible thanks to constant keyboarding. I don't want to lose that gift of writing...reading back through my old journals has been such a treasure trove of memories and "lessons" from the past that I needed to be reminded of. You have inspired me to try to get back to it. Anyone want to give me a new blank journal? LOL.

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  7. Hmmm, so now we're all talking about how/why we choose what we do for our most intimate 'friend' in our journey. And clearly, I'm different than others, but so it goes. Here's my story:
    I made the conscious decision in 1977 that my journals would reflect the journey--one after another with no difference between them, because my life is a piece--"My heart is set on pilgrimage," as Psalm 84 puts it.

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  8. I wish I could learn to journal and feel comfortable with it! Your posts about journalling are so lovely!

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  9. Dear Dawn,
    Your line,
    "How can I measure up to the possibility, potential and perfection of this book? The moment I touch it with my pen, it's soiled beyond repair!"
    I know exactly that feeling. I even have put one aside as too special to use. There is a message there for me. God gives us gives so that we DO use them. Thank you for the blessing of his post.
    Donna

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walk along the shore with me and leave your footprints in the sand-
I'm listening, friend...in November I will not be replying so often, but instead slip quietly over to your place for a visit. ;)