2.13.2012

Broken Monday




Here I am, the start of a new week and I want to share with you some witty, wonderful, whimsical post. 
But I can't. I promised when I started this blog, I would be authentic. Honest. Not superficial. I promised you. I vowed before God. Honestly, I had a post started with a funny picture and I started the post and it felt wrong. False. Hypocritical. My Pastor just taught on that yesterday- how can I even write a thing in light of his words? Because honestly, friends, today I feel broken. Not in the way I need words to lift me because I don't. I know He is with me, it's not like that- in fact He has led me here. So now I await further instructions as I try to figure what it is I am supposed to learn. What it is I need to get that I'm not getting.

I mean I get that I am selfish and self-serving.
I get that I am stubborn as any mule.
I get that I am a hot-tempered, argumentative prig sometimes.
I mean really, I know my yuck...and His forgiveness.
My lack and His faithful abundance.

So I start this week, needier than most.
Maybe that is not a bad thing.

Having read Psalms into the night to calm my daughter's fears as she confessed to me things that I was not ready to hear, but for His grace. 

And here I am all broken. 

A week's worth of busy, hectic confusion past.
Love, laughter, blessing, pain and challenge.
The week was not without drama. 
Nor joy.

This week was witness to:  a Father-In-Law who suffered a minor heart attack; a daughter who took three nurses to administer 1 shot a midst many tears; a cat with constipation issues requiring exceedingly, costly surgery; a Kindle that cracked and a mom about to follow suit!

Yes, there have been many blessings too.
But today, I am feeling broken.
Spent.
Spilled out.

I started my day with the following verses:

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade—kept in heaven for you, who through faith are shielded by God’s power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time. In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials.These have come so that your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy,  for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls.
1 Peter 1:3-9

AND


Yet this I call to mind 
   and therefore I have hope:
Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed, 
   for his compassions never fail. 
They are new every morning; 
   great is your faithfulness. 
 I say to myself, “The LORD is my portion
   therefore I will wait for him.”
 The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him, 
   to the one who seeks him; 
 it is good to wait quietly 
   for the salvation of the LORD. 

Lamentations 3:21-26



So, I pray you find encouragement today for your week. 

I promise to be Honest always
Funny sometimes.
Superficial, NEVER.
I will keep it real, for better or worse.

See you next time,
Friends!

I remain 
In His Grace.








Miscellany Monday @
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Acting Balanced

8 comments:

  1. Don't always have to be funny when blogging. Life is real and there are real things that get us down. I have a hard time being "real" on my blog because so many of my family read my blog and will then call to ask questions, etc. Good for you! The verse from Lamentations is really one of my favorite, but then again I have so many. I hope today is a better day!!!

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  2. Dawn - I hear you. I love your heart and the commitment you've made in the writing you do. Bless you my sister...your words encourage me, bring me to prayer for you and for families. Bright blessings, always and in all ways (yeah even when we don't feel like it!)...

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  3. I hope the hurt lifted a bit after you wrote your post, it sometimes does for me. No logical reason for that but it happens.

    Wish I could help, but know that I treasure our odd cyber friendship and will be thinking of you and praying for you today. Hard weeks are so draining and as women it seems we are in the middle of it all and absorbing the gunk because we have big hearts and frustratingly good radar!
    Hope it gets better soon Hun!

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  4. You didn't come right out and say it, but it sounds as if you are apologizing for being real. DON'T! Yes, I personally enjoy humorous stories; heaven knows we need to hear them many a day to counteract the horrible ones we hear too often. But I learn more from the raw, open and honest, AUTHENTIC posts. They resonate deeply with me and I can connect more sincerely with you. I don't feel so alone in my struggles, my sufferings and my own brokenness.

    Today, for some reason, I feel much like you are. I would love to write about it -- therapeutic for me and perhaps helpful to someone else. But for this season, my time is not my own. I'm on call and feel as though I'm always on the clock. And I too, feel the same way Lois does -- when I post something too deeply personal and painful, I get emails, calls, fb messages from family of the 'Omigosh, WHAT is going on over there?' And right now, I'm just not up for that.

    Hold on, my friend. The other day, this verse came to mind for a mutual sister in Christ of ours. I will share it with and pray it for you today:

    Be on guard. Stand firm in the faith. Be courageous. Be strong. ~ 1 Corinthians 16:13

    Much love, grace & peace,
    Pam

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  5. girl, we are all so broken. in our weakness, He is strong. hugs!

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  6. You are human! Things happen, and I like to call those things 'life', and they are not always pretty are packaged in a nice little box. Don't apologize for being human. HE understands and knows out weaknesses. I am sorry that you are feeling 'broken' today and I hope tomorrow will bring better things your way. Visiting from Meet Me On Monday. Best Wishes!

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  7. girl believe me we all can feel broken and it is ok! GOD is there to carry us when we do! Hang in there and here is to a better tommorrow!

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  8. Again with a post that could have come out of my head....except for the constipated cat thing (we have dogs). There are days when the blogging doesn't flow, when it all seems...wrong. I've found it's the days when I get it into my head to "be" something. Funny, thoughtful, whatever. The days it goes best are the ones when I don't even seem to try and let God flow. Those posts seem to write themselves. Those are also the days that no one seems to comment on. I hope that's because they're thinking, but I trust God gives it to me for a reason. Someone needs to read it. Maybe it's even me.

    Praying for a refreshing and refilling for you.

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walk along the shore with me and leave your footprints in the sand-
I'm listening, friend...in November I will not be replying so often, but instead slip quietly over to your place for a visit. ;)